Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Battling to sleep

We have finally hit a wall. A bedtime wall. DH believes we coddle the boy too much. I just want a calm and soothing bedtime experience, so I attempt to keep crying to a minimum. But bedtime has become exhausting.

It started when I foolishly read a book on sleep issues - given to me by a friend. It is of the hardcore, cry it out, variety. Not really my thing. But lately, I am swaying. We try to be consistent. There are 2-3 naps a day. Ideally in the crib, but not always. They are ideally at least an hour, but not always. I nurse him, then he gets a bounce and a shhhhhhh cribside. Lately, you can put him in the crib, but he may wake right away or in the next ten minute. Repeat bounce and shhhhh, and hope for the best. It does not always work.

Then there is bedtime. We usually wait till we see eyerubbing, but I think this is actually the problem. I think by the time he is rubbing the eyes we are too late. He is over tired. He has been clusterfeeding in the 6-7 pm hour. I actually think this is his own bedtime preparation. Anyhow, what usually happens is about 7:30-8, I nurse him again, then bounce and shhhh. Sometimes he takes it, but more often now he starts to rub his eyes frantically, popping out the nuk repeatedly and then on to screaming. DH steps in and we rotate back and forth based on what our moods can stand. Last ditch effort is to lay in bed with him.

Well, tonight.... Tonight we are going to try to put him in the crib without the bounce and shhh. We made a plan so we are in alignment and not making decisions on the fly, in the thick of it. We are moving bedtime up to 7, for sure. We are establishing a calming routine for the 30-45 minutes prior. Reading, nursing, etc. Then a short bounce, then into the crib. We decided on 30 minutes of crying without going in, picking up, etc. This is going to be VERY taxing on me. But I know what we have been doing is not working. In fact, it has become a disaster, and not good for anyone. I need, very much, for bedtime to change. We are going to give it three days and see how it goes. Honestly, it can not get much worse:) Well, I suppose it could.....

If only ever nap could be like this one:

3 comments:

G$ said...

Look how he is holding his daddy's hand! So adorable.

I have no assvice. If I took 3 1 hour naps during the day I would sleep like shit too. But I'm not 6 months old.

xoxox Good luck deary

May said...

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think your strategy is solid and will work. I never expected to be a let them cry mom but circumstances have made me one, and after a couple rough days everyone in the house felt 3000% better.

Good luck. Be strong.

sacredandscarred said...

Oh he's so cute!!!!

Always happy to talk about how sleep goes at our place if you want to know.

TTG's naps have been around 45-60mins each for ages, he's just a little and often kinda guy lol.

Does D ever fall asleep while BFing?

Some nice sleep tips here http://tribalbaby.org/Feedingtosleep.html

The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is supposed to be good.