Sunday, March 23, 2008

Bring on the crazy.

So this is when I start to loose my sh*t. I am 9 dpo (days past ovulation.) I am dodging potential signals left and right. One reads up, the next down. I am going to test tomorrow morning with a cheapo internet stick at 10dpo - pretty much knowing it will be negative on account of the early testing and the cheap test.

DH is suddenly more engaged. We were walking to the train together a few days ago an he says, "When we we know if our experiment work?" I told him he'd have to wait till next week on account of the fact that I stocked on cheap internet dip-sticks instead of the primo pee-sticks. Then today at brunch he says, "Do you think you need to go buy some of the good sticks?" He is so sweet. This is really the first time he is really paying attention. I love it - although the pressure to perform is on, for sure. So I am debating a trip to the store to get a first response 3-pack. They have always worked best for me.

So here are the signs. Some point to possible BFP, so to a f*cked up cycle??
  1. 6dpo - cramping. Could this be an implantation date? Who knows.
  2. High temps - awesome, yeah!
  3. Low temps - Boooooooo! My chart looks like a zig-zag. Though I have not dropped below my coverline.
  4. Boob twinges. Not soreness, but lightning, sharp, zips of pain traveling from center to nipple. I get breast tenderness with PMS, but usually a dull, overall kind of pain.
  5. Zit uptick. I always have bad skin, but it was clearing up after that nasty progesterone, then reverted. Only the blemishes are not in their usual locations. Chin mostly.

So the saga continues. We tried so freaking hard this month. I am getting back to my wheat-free, dairy-free diet. I am being good about taking my herbs. I am all vitamined up. I am off coffee and the drink. I am playing by the rules.

Just hoping we know by thursday because I have an old friend coming into town who I would love to share a bottle of wine with if the cycle bombs.


Meg said...

I love that you and your husband are feeling more connected and together on this cycle. Your explanation of his support is just adorable. Go get the sticks, they are my favorite!

I am on pins and needles for you....and will be checking in often this week. I really hope this is it for you.

Freyja said...

I'm 12 DPO. Super sore boobs. Almost assuredly means nothing. Can't stop noticing it though. :P

scarredbellybutton said...

I'm glad your husband's really on board this time. Good luck!

My mantra is "nothing means anything".