Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The call has been made. No more work for me.

My OB is recommending that I not work. She thought we could see how I am doing at about 28 weeks and reexamine it then. Unfortunately, I work on contract from semester to semester, so there is no coming and going - no in-between. I either work the fall, or I wait to work again in the spring.

I am equally bummed and scared to death. I am still too shell shocked to call my poor boss, herself, having given birth to a baby girl a mere 4 days ago. She is scheduled to be out on maternity leave, some of which was my job to cover. Ugh. What a freaking mess. And my guilt over leaving her high and dry doesn't even chip the surface of my real concern. I have no freaking idea how we can possibly live off of my husband's salary alone. Because I work on contract, disability pay is, conveniently, out of my reach-- regardless of whether or not I have paid into it for the 2 years I have worked there. Higher Ed. is jacked up. Yet another reason why I need to stop adjuncting after the roomie arrives.

I keep thinking there must be some way for me to make extra cash. Freelancing web design, piece work, ph.one s.ex (that last one was a joke.) But I just don't see it happening. Then I think I can find ways to shave more off of our expenses. Problem is we already live really simply. The only luxury we did have was dining out and we cut that back months ago. The only other thing is the Net.flix and I don't think the extra $14 a month is really going to be the thing that makes us or breaks us. I have already decided if there is some freak heat wave, and there will be, I will be heading to my mom's for as long as needed to be in the A/C. At least that way we can not run the A/C here and save on electric. That is the best I can do. And not turn on the heat till November, and wear lots of wool sweaters..

Last, but not least, our savings has already been depleted by my lack of work this summer. So we have no cash to refinish the floors upstairs which is the first step toward building the roomie's room. I guess in the end it doesn't really mater if the roomie has a room. It just matters that he is here and healthy. We can deal with the rest later.

Ugh. This is all so depressing. I just thought, maybe, just maybe, I would be one of those people who has an easy pregnancy. I thought, so foolishly, that perhaps with all the drama over the last year and a half I would get an easy ride. No - Such - Luck.


G said...

No go, easy rider :( So sorry for this bad news. I am sure you guys can make it work though. Start looking at things around the house in the "could that be sold on eb.ay or craig.slist?" way. I kid. Kinda.


Meg said...

Oh I am so thrilled you are pregnant and others are making calls to assure you will be taken care of, like pulling the plug on work. Remember what you boss said....you can bail anytime. She gets it and it will all work out.

As for the funds, that will all work out in the end. Your little one will never know how much or little they have around them material or aesthetic....just that you are there and confidently providing what they need. You will make this work and it will all be wonderful.

Still I totally get the worrying.

sara said...

I am so sorry sweetie that you have to be put in this situation. This just plain stinks... It's easy to just say - don't do anything work wise, because the baby is the most important thing. Which of course I know to you it is since you're a good mom already...but what I am sorry for is the situation that you have to endure to get to that point. I wish there was something I could do to change the stress, the worrying, and the emotional hell hole that it leaves you in. Of course it will all work out in the end, but I'm sorry for the bumpy ride you and your husband have to go through to get there. Sometimes stuff seems so unfair, and for that I'm sorry. I'm here as always along the way, and if there is anything I can do or just to listen I'm always here...((hugs))