Thursday, August 14, 2008

Disastrous night

  • About 5pm my OB called.
  • I gave her the numbers on my cervix. 2.3 and 1.9 when I bear down.
  • She says, "They didn't tell you to go to the hospital?"
  • Nope.
  • So we head to the hospital.
  • 45 minutes and we get a room. Blood splattered on floor from previous patients.
  • I am met by a resident, looks younger than me.
  • Hooked up to monitors. Hooked up to fluids.
  • I am contracting. Most of the time about 5-10 minute apart.
  • Manual exam. She can get one finger in my cervix by refuses to call that 1 cm. Says it is "subjective." Kind of like the difference between getting smacked in the head or punched in the head. Totally subjective, you dumbass.
  • Lay there and panic for three hours getting fluid. Fluids fail to stop contractions. (Duh, I said that would do nothing.)
  • Second check shows no change. I am told I am not in preterm labor. Too late in the game for a cerclage.
  • Cervical exam produced a gush of blood and clots. Fuck. Still spotting this morning.
  • I ask a lot of questions: what about meds to stop the contractions, what about FFN test, what about progesterone injection. Over the course of two weeks my cervix both began to open and shortened. Does this not prove the contractions are "productive" and we should try to stop them?
  • Too many questions makes the dumbass resident bring a very, very, very nasty attending to see me. She starts off the conversation with her voice already elevated. Again, I am told without a previous preterm birth they will not treat me preventatively for preterm labor. I respond with, "so your telling me I have to loose this baby in order to get treated on my next pregnancy?" That really brought out the claws. I am an tears. I tell her I am ready to go home. She and the dumbass resident stare at me while I sob. She "apologizes" for not "telling me what I want to hear" over and over. I get mad and sick of being stared at and yell, "Its fine, I want to go home."
  • The poor nurse goes over my discharge papers in my room. Doc's don't want to have to see me at the desk. 50% of what the paper says to come back in for is already happening to me. Instructions are useless. I tell her the attending is a witch.
  • The attending is at reception when I leave. She won't even look at me.
  • They are sending my home in worse shape then when I arrives and with no treatment at all.
  • This is a fucking nightmare.

I am going to try to get in at my sisters practice up near my mothers house. They treated her aggressively and preventatively under similar circumstances. I will have to be on bedrest at my mom's to be close to the hospital, but I know I will feel safer.

I don't know how to make this switch other than to plead with them. I hope they will have sympathy.


sara said...

Ugh! I just sent you a way too long email - I pretty much summed up my useless two cents in there. But gosh girl, I am so so sorry about that terrible experience. The fact that you are still standing after that deserves you an olympic gold medal in my opinion. Health care at it's freakin finest...shameful. ((hugs))

Kim said...

God, I'm sorry. Do you have an MFM (maternal fetal medicine)/perinatologist doc? That's who I saw and they were much more aggressive than the OB's wanted to be. They put me on oral meds to reduce contractions right off the bat (even though I had had a full term delivery before- so really no history).
If you aren't comfortable with your care, then by all means shop around.

I wish I knew someone near you to recommend. If it helps, I know how you are feeling - the panic and then being forced to go home and just wait. I'm so sorry and I'm here anytime you need to email someone.

andrea said...

I would try to get in another practice - go with your gut. My OB and Peri were wonderful - they always took my concerns seriously - they knew how hard it was for us to get pregnant. Bedrest, hospitalization, meds (Procardia, steriods) is what it took and I was not contracting like you are. I did not have a cerclage because they felt it was too late - but everything else was done for me. I hope you can find the medical support you need. Insist on it - and find it yourself if you have too. I hope you can make it much further. Please hang in there. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this.

G said...

Oh hun, I am flying out to kick some ass.


Meg said...

Oh my god. I cannot imagine how awful this is for you right now. Each blog I read about the medical community's response infuriates me so much.

Taking back control and being in tune with what you need right now is so important. I am so proud of you for getting out of there. Much of this is uncontrollable and that sucks....but maintaining your control over how seriously you are taken and how aggressively you are treated is a huge part that you still can control.

Hang in there little one....this is a big ugly world sometimes and you are entirely too small to come out yet. Stay warm and snuggly.

Anonymous said...

What the fucking fuck kind of circus are they running there????

Interesting that your sister had IC issues as well.