Saturday, May 10, 2008

Bright Red Blood

I guess it wouldn't be me if the ute didn't do something stupid, like start evacuation proceedings. It's cosmic really. I ordered a book on pregnancy. I also told my mother I was pregnant who spread the news to my family like fire on a hot, dry day. So that is what I get. Embrace the pregnancy, even begin to believe this might happen... then and only then will I bleed like hell.

I started with straight up blood a few hours ago. I had not been feeling great, so I took an hour nap. Upon waking I headed to the bathroom, looked into the can and saw red. I actually gasped. It seems to have slowed down, only when I wipe and not enough to even touch a pad. And of course I am all out of panty-liners. I only have big-ol-miscarriage-pads.

AND, of course it is the weekend and I am between doctors. My RE released me a week ago and I am supposed to see my OB on monday. Perfect, fucking timing. Oh, and did I tell you my in-laws are coming for lunch tomorrow (mother's day) so we can tell them? I guess that announcement will be something like, "We were really pregnancy last week. This week is a little more questionable."

The on-call doctor gave me a few options. 1.) Emergency room - where over the span of eight hours I will have multiple cervical check, see several incompetent doctors and may be fortunate enough to have an ultrasound from a tech who will not look me in the eye let alone tell me if they see a heartbeat. A very desirable option. 2.) Wait and see if it lets up and keep my 8 am appointment with the OB on Monday morning.

We are going to try to make it to Monday, because I have been through the emergency room thing too many times already - and it is Saturday night. If everything is ok - then it will be ok Monday. There is no magic drug to make this stop. I just need to stay sane. And pray like hell to what ever it is that I kinda don't even know exists to make this all be ok.


G said...

Oh sweetie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Be ok little bean.

jenn said...

Every good bit of karma I have is going out to you right now. I hope you get through the next day & that everything is fine on Monday. My heart is going out to you right now- I hope it's one of those crazy early pregnancy things & the roomie is just playing a mean trick & waves hi on monday.