Thursday, July 3, 2008

Procrastination + A pic from my past

I should be on my way to the beach, although it is not too late. We were supposed to drive down just for the day today, until a particular dilemma occurred. DH's sister is at the shore. We could spend the day with her, using her hosts bathrooms and eating lunch with them. But DH's Aunt and Uncle and many cousins from the midwest are at another nearby shore town.... Where do we go without offending someone? Not such a big issue for me, but enough of a pain to my DH that he prefers avoidance as his main tactic. His family tend to be very sensitive to the formality of things, and not seeing the midwesterners would be a faux pas. So today, instead of enjoying a lovely day in the sun, I will sit in from of my computer avoiding all of the work I need to have before I start teaching summer session on Tuesday.

I may just be the world's best procrastinator. I can put anything off, till the very last second, and still pull it out in the end. And not even with a frenzy, or with a low quality of work. I'd like to think that instead I have a distinct and keen understanding of the speed at which I work and that, really, I can plan, down to the second, the time I need to complete any task. I am pushing it though. I wrote the class over a month ago. One of the new assignments is not very well developed and I have decided to switch it up a bit. I need to create a few demo pieces to show the kids, write the assignments and make sure I have library access to get the DVD I need. Whatever... It will all come together:)

Aside from my procrastination skills, I have developed a new, and very unsavory trait, over the last year. I am significantly less motivated than I used to be. I know why. A year and a half of seeing an RE as a full time job is enough to pull the rug out from under anyone. And I think I thought getting pregnant would fix everything. I thought that my failing friendships would instantly recover, I thought I would dive back into my art practice and all of the volunteer work I used to do-- I thought when I finally got pregnant that I would pick up where I left off, and just begin again. But I never seem to start again. I still shy away from old friends. I avoid volunteer meeting because people will see that I am pregnant and I have not an ounce of creativity. I keep waiting for that burst of energy, the "nesting" reflex to kick in-- please god, don't tell me this was a lie too? I NEED that burst? I should have gotten my sewing machine out weeks ago. I should be crafting some new clothes for myself, sewing curtains, making cloth diapers (this may be a little premature but it is something to do... But I can't even get the machine off the shelf let alone get working.

I should add that the room that *could* be used for sewing is currently the staging area for our yet incomplete bathroom. It is currently full of drywall, cement board, tile, lumber and tools. Once the tile in done (hopefully in the next two weeks) that same room will get torn up again to refinish the floors, and then, build a room for the "yet to exist on its own child." So in reality, that room will be unavailable, well, forever. Our house is pretty small, so I am all out of real estate.

Problem is that there is a chance much of this work on the house will have to wait a while. The bathroom tile is a done deal. DH's parents have generously hired a contractor friend to complete the tile for us, and we are eternally grateful. We are looking into a home equity loan for windows and insulation - so the boring, but expensive stuff is on the burner a while. The last hold up is that DH is going to India for much of August. Being generally knocked up, I am very unsure of what kind of limitations to put on myself. I am a house-fixer-upper-guru (at least I would like to think). I love to skim coat, spackle, paint, refinish floors, drywall, etc, etc. I know the floors project is out for sure, but I don't know what things I can contribute to? Can I paint? What about the fumes? I need to do some priming - are those fumes worse than regular fumes? So I feel totally defanged, and also feel like I can not press DH about any projects because they are all on his back (ort financial well-being is mostly on him too because I make a pittance adjuncting.)

So what is a girl to do?
Bite the bullet, set up the sawhorses and sand the old french doors with a respiratory on?
Or just chill, give myself space and time to be pregnant (worry, recover, etc)?
Or drag DH off the couch and make him take me to the beach today anyhow!!!

A Pic From My Past

Here is me striking a pose at the same beach I should be at today (it is kind of a goofy, girly pose that makes me feel icky, but it was the only good beach photo I could find.) This is actually from my honeymoon - if you call hanging out at your grandmothers beach house a honeymoon... It was a honeymoon for the perpetually broke:)

I love digging through old photos... Umm, you guys should post some old photos too. Then we can all be nostalgic about when we had no idea we had screwed up parts:)


sara said...

Okay, once again our minds are creepily working right in sync. I truly believe we must be siamese twins or something, LOL! When you said about pulling out old photos, I had already just hit the post button on my blog for today. It has a ton of old pictures! It's not creepy that we are so much alike - but cool! My vote is for the beach, definitely see if your husband can still take you. And by the way, happy 4th and you look great in that photo :-)


jenn said...

I love the photo! I think I may have stood on that same jetty of rocks many a time... If our pictures were remotely available on the computer I would have to post some in response. But unfortunaely- much of our photos only exist in the tangible medium of film (gasp!) and I no longer have a scanner at home! I am working on some photos of the hub & I - if I am brave enough to post them is another matter!

I say go to the shore too- although it's supposed to be rainy & crappy this weekend- so maybe just stay here- there's fireworks on the 4th & the 5th! I maydrag my butt to one of them...

On the house font- do whatever you are comfortable with- if that's fixing up plaster & painting- just check wth your doc first & I'm sure you'll be fine. I think pregnant women are capable of a lot more than we would think. Bu if you feel like relaxing & just adding to the honey-do list- that is perfetly okay too. A happy mom is a good mom- right? I think that counts for in utero moms too!

Enjoy your holiday- whatever it entails!

Meg said...

Old photos are a great idea...I will search for one. I would check in with your doc about the fumes and painting. Mine told me that I could paint/prime as long as I was outside. So bring those doors out in the sunshine woman! I would stay far far away from stripping fumes or anything like that. You can always buy safer paint too...