Procrastination + A pic from my past

I should be on my way to the beach, although it is not too late. We were supposed to drive down just for the day today, until a particular dilemma occurred. DH's sister is at the shore. We could spend the day with her, using her hosts bathrooms and eating lunch with them. But DH's Aunt and Uncle and many cousins from the midwest are at another nearby shore town.... Where do we go without offending someone? Not such a big issue for me, but enough of a pain to my DH that he prefers avoidance as his main tactic. His family tend to be very sensitive to the formality of things, and not seeing the midwesterners would be a faux pas. So today, instead of enjoying a lovely day in the sun, I will sit in from of my computer avoiding all of the work I need to have before I start teaching summer session on Tuesday.

I may just be the world's best procrastinator. I can put anything off, till the very last second, and still pull it out in the end. And not even with a frenzy, or with a low quality of work. I'd like to think that instead I have a distinct and keen understanding of the speed at which I work and that, really, I can plan, down to the second, the time I need to complete any task. I am pushing it though. I wrote the class over a month ago. One of the new assignments is not very well developed and I have decided to switch it up a bit. I need to create a few demo pieces to show the kids, write the assignments and make sure I have library access to get the DVD I need. Whatever... It will all come together:)

Aside from my procrastination skills, I have developed a new, and very unsavory trait, over the last year. I am significantly less motivated than I used to be. I know why. A year and a half of seeing an RE as a full time job is enough to pull the rug out from under anyone. And I think I thought getting pregnant would fix everything. I thought that my failing friendships would instantly recover, I thought I would dive back into my art practice and all of the volunteer work I used to do-- I thought when I finally got pregnant that I would pick up where I left off, and just begin again. But I never seem to start again. I still shy away from old friends. I avoid volunteer meeting because people will see that I am pregnant and I have not an ounce of creativity. I keep waiting for that burst of energy, the "nesting" reflex to kick in-- please god, don't tell me this was a lie too? I NEED that burst? I should have gotten my sewing machine out weeks ago. I should be crafting some new clothes for myself, sewing curtains, making cloth diapers (this may be a little premature but it is something to do... But I can't even get the machine off the shelf let alone get working.

I should add that the room that *could* be used for sewing is currently the staging area for our yet incomplete bathroom. It is currently full of drywall, cement board, tile, lumber and tools. Once the tile in done (hopefully in the next two weeks) that same room will get torn up again to refinish the floors, and then, build a room for the "yet to exist on its own child." So in reality, that room will be unavailable, well, forever. Our house is pretty small, so I am all out of real estate.

Problem is that there is a chance much of this work on the house will have to wait a while. The bathroom tile is a done deal. DH's parents have generously hired a contractor friend to complete the tile for us, and we are eternally grateful. We are looking into a home equity loan for windows and insulation - so the boring, but expensive stuff is on the burner a while. The last hold up is that DH is going to India for much of August. Being generally knocked up, I am very unsure of what kind of limitations to put on myself. I am a house-fixer-upper-guru (at least I would like to think). I love to skim coat, spackle, paint, refinish floors, drywall, etc, etc. I know the floors project is out for sure, but I don't know what things I can contribute to? Can I paint? What about the fumes? I need to do some priming - are those fumes worse than regular fumes? So I feel totally defanged, and also feel like I can not press DH about any projects because they are all on his back (ort financial well-being is mostly on him too because I make a pittance adjuncting.)

So what is a girl to do?
Bite the bullet, set up the sawhorses and sand the old french doors with a respiratory on?
Or just chill, give myself space and time to be pregnant (worry, recover, etc)?
Or drag DH off the couch and make him take me to the beach today anyhow!!!

A Pic From My Past


Here is me striking a pose at the same beach I should be at today (it is kind of a goofy, girly pose that makes me feel icky, but it was the only good beach photo I could find.) This is actually from my honeymoon - if you call hanging out at your grandmothers beach house a honeymoon... It was a honeymoon for the perpetually broke:)

I love digging through old photos... Umm, you guys should post some old photos too. Then we can all be nostalgic about when we had no idea we had screwed up parts:)