Some pics

She's here!

EJ was born safely yesterday at 7:19 pm after a fast and insane labor. She is doing great. Will post pics soon. Xo

Waiting, working, waiting, working....

I am a sewing / making machine. I keep thinking if I finish that one last project I wanted to get done I will finally go into labor. It is not working, though I have yet to run out of projects. Here is what got done so far:
Curtains for DPB's room
Curtains for our room
Curtains for baby girls room
Curtains for the bathroom
3 crib sheets made
About a zillion burb clothes made
Lots of tiny paintings made for xmas gifts and otherwise
DH's b-day gift made
Apron made for Grammy's xmas gift
Many small stuffed things started for little people for xmas
Garland for Baby girl homecoming
Tissue paper flowers for baby girl's room
"Welcome Home" banner drawn on new kitchen chalk board
New throw pillows for the couch

I think that is it. But there is still more I'd like to do, just not sure how much of a mess I want to leave the house in.

Freaking come already little one! We R ready!

False starts and a little progress

Here are the stats:
38+6
Weight gain in last 2 weeks = 0
3-4 cm dilated
90% effaced
Baby at -1 Station
*Progress, at least.

Yesterday I contracted, pretty strongly, all day-- with the majority of the activity from 2-7 pm. Then it all stopped. Based on the changes to my cervix, I'll chalk it up to a slow start and just be grateful that means I don't have to start from nothing when I finally do go into labor.

37+4 Post stitch removal

So the stitch removal was pretty fine. I can't say it was fun, but it was more uncomfortable than painful and it was over super quick. My doctor is awesome. He just always seems to know what he is doing-- as I suppose a doctor should. But after you have dealt with so many moron's it is just so nice to see some competent people on a regular basis.

So the stitch came out. I bled on and off for the next 12 hours -- but very minor. And that was the end of it. After he took it out he checked my cervix. I was 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and at station 2 - which if I understand that right, she is pretty low. Today, 4 days post stitch removal, I lost my mucus plug. Sorry if that is gross, but it just is. I have been contracting a lot. Some painful, but mostly in the evening when I am tired.

We lined up a doula to attend the birth. She was at our son's birth too, so it is really nice to have a familiar and even more experience face to see us through the process. I'd like to try to make it through unmedicated, but am willing to go with meds if I have to. Last time, I went for the epidural after I barfed hysterically for hours - between each contraction. It was exhausting. So I am also going to see about an anti-nausea med upon arrival to get out ahead of that. I just want it over... faster....

So now we just wait. I have been busy making curtains and stocking the freezer. There is still a lot I *could* do, but we have decided to get started on xmas gifts since we hope to make a lot of them and having a newborn and toddler will make that even harder this year. We'll see.

So check in every few days. I'm hoping I have less than 2 weeks!

35 weeks

Everything continues to be pretty uneventful. I saw my OB yesterday. Everything there is cool. My contractions are pretty non-existent. Baby is very active, more-so than I prefer;) Sleep is scant and life is generally good.

We are in the process of lining up a volunteer doula to see us through the birth. There is a great organization in my city that provides doulas-in-training to those who can not afford to hire one. So the doula gets to experience a birth and practice their skills and we get another person in the room to lean on. It is a pretty good deal.

During my son's birth I ended up with an epidural somewhere around 7-8 cm. It was mostly because I was vomiting like crazy. Contract, vomit, contract, vomit. I couldn't get a handle on it, and I couldn't breath. So I am going to talk to my OB to see if I can have some z.o.f.r.a.n, or the like, to try to prevent the barfing before it start and possibly spare me the epidural. I had a vaginal birth anyhow-- which I am very grateful for-- but I would love to do it unmedicated this time. We'll see. What will be will be. I am not the type to get upset about my birth experience as long as everyone is safe in the end. Oh, but I'd also like to skip the episiotomy this time. It sure sped things up, but made the healing harder.

I am scheduled to have my stitch removed on Nov 3rd. I was told I *may* have some cramping and discomfort with that. I hope it goes smoothly. I'll be 37 + 2, and thinking I'll last another 2 weeks. I delivered my son at 39 and hope for the same with this one.

Dang this blog is boring. Boring is good. If you need excitement, you'll have to back up nearly 2 years to the day. This pregnancy has just been so different. In a good way.

A lonely spill.

We are 33 weeks tomorrow. Incredible really. I have no restrictions! I am even allowed to have sex (but don't tell my DH that;) As a result I am probably pressing my luck a bit. I have been a maniac - cleaning, painting, cooking, lifting, etc. My mom was here for the weekend helping me sew a new slip cover for our wretchedly old and gross couch. I pushed it.

DH is out of town for nearly two weeks, so after my mom's visit I was exhausted. My back ached from sewing and cooking all weekend. I was just zonked. The boy went to bed easy and I headed downstairs to catch up on my TV programs. As I reached the bottom of the steps I biffed it. My socked feet slipped from under me and I bumped down the remaining three stairs on ass and hands. It wasn't a bad fall, but enough to shake me up. I sat there for a minute, all pathetic-like and cried a little. What else is a girl to do?

I woke up this morning with a pink coloration to my normal discharge (sorry if TMI.) It is not that uncommon for me, especially after a BM (again, sorry if TMI.) I think my stitch just gets a little irritated. I am just keeping an eye on it and ready to call my OB if it worsens. I also called my the MIL to come get the boy for the day so I can just rest.

I fell in my last pregnancy. I guess it is pretty normal. Just you just feel so stupid, and pathetic, and stupid. Ugh.

Here to one more week. Soon I'll be scheduling the removal of my stitch! I can't believe it.

Hello world & it is all still so muddy.

Everything is calm here on the pregnancy front. I am approaching 29 weeks and still standing!

And while, don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to be up and about, the last few weeks have thrown my diagnosis into muddy territory. Last time around I started contracting around 20 weeks. Those contractions, while sometimes regular, were rarely painful. My cervix shortened dramatically at 23.5 weeks and I was hospitalized.

The assumption has always been that I have incompetent cervix (IC) and Preterm Labor (PTL). But with a preventative cerclage and weekly progesterone shots, I seem to be avoiding both-- to a certain extent. I do have runs of contractions, which are really just a reminder to drink water and rest. They never get real regular and are only occassionally strong enough to make me uncomfortable. And as for the shortening, I dipped from 3.9 to 2.7 at 25 weeks-- but it has held up since then. So what do I have?

I guess in the end it doesn't really matter. What matters is that I am still pregnant and still able to chase my awesome little toddler around. But I am frustrated with the fact that this muddy diagnosis continues to fail to convince the stupid insurance company that these measures are necessary to keep me safely pregnant. There is no code for. "generally misbehaving cervix." That seems to be the best way to describe what I have.

Whatever. Wish me luck in the homestretch. Things could still get hairy, but I feel better everyday about how far along we have already come;)

27+3 - all is good.

It has been 2 weeks since my cervical length dropped and I spent the day in triage. It has been really quiet. Not that my cervix would grace me with a PSA on its activities...

I had my last u/s at the 2 week interval. I don't go back for a month. Amazingly, I measure 3.0! I am just in shock and feel like I just won my freedom! I know I still have to take it easy, and the shit could still hit the fan, but I think the chances are quite good that I may stand up for this whole pregnancy. It really just means that I am going to have to buy some fall/winter maternity cloths that aren't sweats;) Kind of a bummer since we are on a tight budget, but whatever.

I might just be one of the luckiest ladies on the planet. So. Freaking. Awesome.

Holding...

Back at triage just briefly today to get my second round of steroids. What a difference. Yesterday's nurse came at me with that needle like she was in a fencing match. She never swabbed my arse with alcohol, she gave no warning. It hurt like hell.

Today's nurse rocked. I don't know what she did. It was like she was tapping my butt the whole time and she had me take two deep breaths. I never even realized the needle went in. All the sudden... Done. Some nurses are just super awesome at what they do. She was and I told her so.

Anyhow. A shot, a half hour on the monitor and I was out of there. Still having small runs of contractions. Nighttime seems to be the worst-- probably because of hydration.

Anyhow, here is a pic of my old friends. How I dread these damn machines. And do they really need to be on so damn tight? Ouch.

Let the games begin.

25+3 day today. Last cervical U/S was 2 weeks ago. Had a lot of action the last two weeks. Nothing worth a call to the doctor--but lots of contractions and bits of bleeding here and there. I knew something was up.

So I was prepared for some bad news at my U/S today. When the tech first put the wand in, we both looked at the screen baffled. Where the hell is it? Where is my cervix? Not a good sign. We finally found it went the stitch became visible. That bugger dropped from 3.9 to 2.7-- which all in all, is not terrible. But not great either. Just to show off I had a contraction during the exam so the other measurements were even shorter. Gasp.

While the Peri's usually just get a call I get a report back fron the tech-- this time I got to see the Dr. They are like the Wizard 0f 0z only stepping out from behind the curtain when necessary. My misbehaving, show-off ute landed me in triage. Nice.

After countless trips there carrying the D-man, it is annoyingly familiar. The smells, the sounds, the equipment. They kept me for about 3 hours at which time I had NO contractions, gave me a steroid shot in the arse and sent me home. I have to go back tomorrow for another shot. I was not ordered on bedrest, but am supposed to take it easy. No heavy lifting. Not too much up and down the steps, whatever, whatever-- I know the drill.

I guess there is one thing I really can count on. My cervix is bunk.

Hopefully just a blip....

I was already nervous about this week. I am 24+3 and it is an OB-only, non-ultrasound week. I have been contracting a little. But nothing regular or painful.

So I had a speculum exam and my OB discovered some bleeding around the stitch. It was not enough to even cause a discharge. He applied a solution-- um, which I foolishly forgot to ask the purpose. My assumption would be it is a kind of antiseptic to keep away infection. He felt, from the manual exam, that I seemed to be holding up otherwise.

So my instructions are the usual. Call with bleeding or more than 6 contractions and hour. I am a little unnerved, but trying to hold it together. I have 1 week to go till another u/s. I am just going to try to take it easy.

23+4 and Holding Strong?

I am, well, baffled. This week last time around is when the shit hit the fan. I went into preterm labor and my cervical length began its great descend to nothingness. So when I arrived at my appointment yesterday I was pretty nervous.

I was hoping for my favorite U/S tech, but decided I would be happy with anyone other than the one I had last week. I got a woman I never met before. She was super confident, super fast and super efficient. I watched images of the girl flash on the screen. Head, body, kidney blood flow (yeah, looks like she has 2:) She is weighing in at 1lb 10 ounces already. Nice. Then onto the old cerv.

I watched the first measurement come up. I was expecting a number to toss me in the "scary yet still gray area" because that is how I roll. The numbers pop up in the lower right of the screen and I can't even always see the whole thing. But wouldn't you know: 3.9. What? I am holding strong? What? Me? I am totally baffled at this point. After the tech left the room, I balled. Relief, and continued fear.

I did start feeling an uptick in contractions this week, but nothing alarming. I guess the progesterone really is doing the trick. And this week will begin to tell us what happened last time around. I am starting to think the it was the PTL all along that started the ball rolling, not IC. Only time will tell.

But I can not ignore the pessimist in me who thinks: well, my dates could be off. Next week could be the bad week. And I don't have an U/S for 2 weeks, though I do see my OB next week. I forgot what this living week to week thing was like. Hoping to just make it one more. I remember thinking: if I can just get to 28 weeks, if I can just get to 30 weeks, if I can just get to 32 weeks-- then I'll feel ok, safe. But you never do till you get within a few weeks of term, do you?

22+2 with 2/10 cm loss

So my cervix went from 3.9 to 3.7. The u/s tech seemed a little lost. I watched her try to measure my length over and over. She didn't really seem to know what she was doing. So I am chalking up the very minor dip to her shaky hand.

I see my OB on friday for a spec and manual check. Then back for another u/s next friday at 23+4. The very same gestational where my cervix bailed last time. Could be interesting!

I am doing a terrible job of documenting my pregnancy. With D. I took pictures all the time. Here is the first one I took so far!

Love! Joy!

Little Boy Hank arrived yesterday. The son of one of my most favored blogger and real world friends. Go say a HUGE and much awaited congrats to G$ at Makes You Stronger! She will be one of the most glorious Mama's ever!

Not much to report from me. We just arrived home from a week at the beach. My garden is a disaster. Seems my tomatoes have contracted a fatal in incurable fungus. I am a gardening failure. My ego, as it pertains to keeping things alive, didn't really need a blow at this very moment. Whatever.

I have an U/S to check on my cervix and stitch tomorrow. I am just about 22 weeks, so I am anticipating there could be a little change this week, but hoping not. I have been having occasional very slight spotting. Really, just barely a bit of pink. I'll mention it to my Peri. I have also had a little spotting following exams (speculum and trans-vag u/s.) But I suppose that is pretty normal.

1 day short of half way

We make it to 20 weeks tomorrow: the famed and somewhat dreaded midway mark. It is from now till 28 weeks that I find the most terrifying. It is the window of cervical misbehaving. For now, I am holding strong at 3.9cm. But last time around it dropped at 23 weeks, and it went fast. I just keep telling myself... that is what the stitch is for...

DH gave me the P17 shot for the first time this week. I am on my third week of it and it seems to be doing the right thing. Haven't felt any contractions yet. He did a good job with the needle. Just the smallest of bruises. I actually suspect he really likes doing it.

We head to the beach for a week on Saturday, which is both exciting and scary. I love the sea, but being 2 hours from my OB and Peri will certainly cause me some stress. I saw the peri 4 days ago and see my OB tomorrow. So really, it will be less than a 2 week interval, but the longest I have gone without a check the entire pregnancy.

Been a tough week at home. The boy has been really sick. It started with hives all over his face and limbs on Wednesday. By Saturday morning it was a runny poo fest. Poor thing. His bedsheets have been changed more this week than in a lifetime. I still feel like I am up to my elbows in sh*t. Parenting is gross. But I think he is turning a corner. He is lethargic with a low grade fever today. I think the illness is finally breaking. I hope.

All's well on the cervical front...

The past few weeks have been, well, full. We sold our house. Our mortgage for the new house collapsed. The mortgage was revived from the dead. We closed and went straight to the airport to send DH off to Europe for work for nearly two weeks.

In his absence the boy got sick, so I was pretty home bound. And with the cerclage and previa I am not allowed to lift. So unpacking has been impossible.

Then my laptop died. Ugh. Then it got fixed! For free!

Finally I had a peri/OB combo day yesterday with lots of excitement. First, my length is holding out great. In the 3.9 range. Then I found out that the Previa had already clear the cervix by 3 cm! That is one fast moving placenta! THEN, I found our we are having a girl! Holy Sh*t! I thought for sure I was going to remain a woman surrounded by boys! But I was proved so wrong! No boy parts in there. Finally, I ran over to the OB's office and got my first 17P injection. For those of you who don't know, 17P is a shot of progesterone given weekly to "calm" an irritable uterus-- of which I have one:) The shot goes deep into the muscle and the fluid its thick-- so it takes a while to go in. My husband has to learn how to give it to me, but I am not so sure about all that. I'll be on it from 17-36 week.

All is good here. I still feel like I am just waiting for the shit to hit the fan-- but trying to enjoy life on my feet. Hope all is well for all of you out in blogland.

Previa

It wouldn't be me if my body did not decide to throw something else into the mix. I went in for my 15 week u/s cervical cerclage check and found out I have a placenta previa. I have had about a million ultrasounds, so when the tech pointed it out, it was clear to me that only a small portion of the placenta is touching the cervix. So I feel hopeful that it will resolve itself. That said, if it doesn't migrate and my cervix starts to funnel, I am expecting a lot of drama... and blood.

I am handling it pretty well. Probably because it is still early and it looks pretty marginal. We'll see.

Cervix and stitch look fine. 3.4 cm and holding.

Cercalge + Recovery

So the whole procedure was, well, weird. General anesthesia is a no-no in pregnancy, so when you have a cerclage placed you are fully aware and awake. I find operating rooms strange, and have been in many. They are cold, sterile places, as they should be. But they always seem so strangely large as well, which makes you feel even more vulnerable.

I was given a spinal, which was easy. The OR nurses were awesome, supporting and caring. I felt well taken care of. My legs started to get heavy and I was laid back on the table. I was covered in a blow up, heater blanket to keep warm. I was strapped down to the table at the hips and my legs were lifted into the hanging stirrups and draped. The table was tilted back, so my head was lower than my hips. Bright lights were illuminated and my OB went to work.

I had thankfully thought to ask if I was allowed to listen to my (eye)-pod. So as soon as the procedure began I cranked my music and closed my eyes. The whole thing was just too surreal to be present for it. I felt some tugging, pressing and pulling, but no pain. And it was done in a flash. I think I listened to less than 2 songs.

It took a long time for my feeling to come back in my legs. I spent hours in recovery gorging on crackers and juice. I was starved. About 5pm I finally made it to the bathroom and peed - which ok'ed my discharge. I was bleeding, though not bad.

I spotted on and off for the next 24 hours and had some pretty severe cramping for the 12 hours following the placement. What I did not expect was to get the dreaded spinal headache about 36 hours after anesthesia. I actually think mine was not as bad as it could have been. But the worst part was that I felt ok laying down, and felt like hell if I stood or sat up. So while I tried my best to not be confined to bed, it was really my only option for the following 3 days. What a drag. Upside? I did not change a diaper for 4 days! It was glorious!

A week following the cerlage placement I had a follow up with the Peri's and then my OB. The stitch looks great and my cervix is long and firm - though I wouldn't expect anything different at 13 weeks. I will be seeing the Peri's every other week and my Ob every other week - so an appointment every week. I feel good about the monitoring. My OB, in particular, is feeling really optimistic for me not seeing too much bedrest-- but I think he's nuts. Only time will tell.

Coming out...

I am 12 weeks pregnant. But I know my good fortune can be a bitter pill for others. So I waited and waited, not quite knowing what to say, how to say it. An unimaginable number of my real world friends are in the TTC cue, and I know how much it hurts to hear someone cut in front of you. So while, of course we are happy, we've pretty much kept it to ourselves.

It also wouldn't be me if there was not drama. I had a lot of bleeding early on. Once that subsided I enjoyed a long stretch of non-barfing nausea. But superior to last time around where I wretched for weeks on end.

I had my cerclage placed 2 days ago. Bleeding and cramping has subsided, but I am just now getting a headache, I think from the spinal. Hopeful I am back to normal and up and about by tomorrow.

Chances are high I have a long stretch of bedrest in my future, complicated by a frisky toddler and a husband who will be spending a large part of the summer and fall in Europe. So me and the little dude will camp out with various family members and beg for their help and patience.

I don't know if anyone even comes here to read anymore. Nor can I predict how much I will be writing. But I like the idea of sharing my experience again -- especially since my IC is known and will be treated with a cerclage and P17 shots this time around. If my experience can be a resource for anyone with similar issues - then that something...